I have been spending quite a lot of time wondering about death. Not how it is going to happen— I am pretty certain that it is going to be a result of boredom— but, more about what happens after. Do you just cease to exist? I have always wanted to go into a coma, just so I could experience death. Sounds morbid, I know. But there is just something so appealing about the idea of afterlife.

I have spent a good portion of my week trying to read up all that the internet could tell me about life after death. If we go by pure Physics, the fact is energy is never lost. So maybe our physical selves will become one with the ground and its organisms, while our soul continues to exist in the world. The experiences of people who had a short tryst with afterlife varies. While some don’t remember anything, much like a dreamless sleep, many others remember watching life go on about around them. Maybe flatlining on a surgical table is not the ideal situation to take into consideration.

The truth is we are never going to know what it is like. Maybe we will be busy trying to cross into that big white light, or maybe we will be trying to come into terms with the fact that we are dead. While your loved ones are mourning your loss, you might not even be around in spirit.

Funerals are for the living. It is a way for them to gain some closure and come into grips with the fact that someone so near to them is no longer around. I guess that’s why people say that you know how loved you were on this Earth by the number of people who turn up for your funeral. It’s unfortunate that you won’t be around to witness it. It is a scary thought, nonetheless. It makes you wonder—what if only your immediate family turns up, or even worse, even they don’t? As selfish and morbid as it sounds, I really hope that I leave behind a few people who are saddened by my loss. Of course, it will be hard at first. Maybe, every year of my anniversary, they will meet up to help them get through the day. Then, a few years will pass and they will be able to go on for months not thinking about me, and when they do, they will be able to recollect memories without starting the waterworks. Then again, a few years will pass by and maybe they will all meet up and talk about how life has changed and about the girl who made their lives about 10 years ago so memorable. They will tell their kids about this crazy, hyper woman who made several days so much more fun than it could have been—too bad she isn’t still around, they will say. That is just how life is.

Speaking of funerals, I have always wanted to be buried in a volcano. I think it would be a fun trip for everyone. But, I am pretty certain I won’t be allowed to venture outside a cemetery ground. So, hopefully I get a spot under a tree (I never liked the sun, so I doubt my soul would appreciate it either) that overlooks a water  body (hello! the view!). It should be fun day. After the services, when I am buried and in the ground, I want everyone to meet up at my home for some drinks and food. They will play all my favourite songs and play Uno Shots and Never Have I Ever and get real drunk. They will talk about how they met me and laugh over the stupid things I did, and how clumsy I was. They will laugh and maybe shed a few tears thinking about the good, ol’ times, but it will be a happy day. I hope whatever that there is ‘on-the-beyond’ will wait for me to witness all this before I am taken away.

Well, I guess I have used up my morbid quota for the day. I shall try to think of more pleasant things to talk about for tomorrow. Until then. This is me. Morbid and quirky as ever.



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