So, this is my second blog and I have absolutely no idea what to write about. I always thought being a writer meant that they would have ideas just flowing into their minds all the time. Boy, was I wrong! I know now that the minute someone picks up a pen to write, that’s the point when even the smallest idea just escapes your mind.
So I asked my friend for advice on what I could write about and she said, “Anything!” It’s almost as if she doesn’t know me. If you tell me, I can talk about anything, I WILL talk about ANYTHING that comes to mind. So as my username suggests, there will be a lot of random unconnected blurbs from my warped mind in this entry.
Should I talk about Rainbows and Guns? It’s a good idea but I have another entry coming up in the near future solely dedicated for that. That will be the entry when I will reveal my true self to you. After the entry is done, I will have to kill all of you. I believe I am an enigma and revealing my true self would really jeopardize that for me. I am sorry, no hard feelings. You are just collateral damage. That’s all!
I am not a great writer. I may not even be an average writer but writing makes me happy. Well, not as happy as reading or painting but it’s there in the list. That is the only reason I am doing this. I can put my thoughts in one sentence- thoughts that sometimes don’t seem to make any sense even to me. I get to see what my thought process looks like on paper and some random person across the globe will read it and connect with me. We will fall in love and make million babies and the rest is history. Yes! I believe in positive thinking. There is this thing about positive thinking. So if you channel all your energy in to believing that something is going to happen, you have two likely scenarios to arise-
A) It doesn’t happen and you will have wasted all your time and energy only on channelling towards the positive that you are left in a place worse than otherwise.
B) You will be proved right and you will be glad for not wasting your time worrying.
You must also know that even though I am talking about all this fancy shit, I freak out BIG TIME for the smallest things. If you see a girl hyperventilating over the width of the margins on her project, that would probably be me. And no, that does not mean I have OCD just that I am a perfectionist. I like my things a certain way.
Clearly, this blog has actually been about ANYTHING considering I haven’t really talked about anything in particular. Is it about OCD? Is it about positive thinking? Or, is it about writing? Lord only knows.
But I think it’s absolutely necessary to leave you with something substantial so that even though you are thinking, “This girl is a waste of my time!”, the next time I update my blog you will come and read what I have to say. After spending like years thinking about it (Yea, I actually thought about it for years even though I wrote the first line of this entry only like an hour back.) I have decided to write about how, well I don’t want to reveal it yet and ruin the effect. Are you getting annoyed with me? I am sorry! I can’t help it okay. Remember what I told you about some disorders I deal with?
Okay, so I recently finished reading Great Gatsby and throughout the book I imagined myself to be Nick. Yes, I know he is a man and he has a penis and I am a girl and hence it would be biologically impossible for that to happen. But I am partial to Nick for the reason that he is the only nice person in the book who is alive even after the book is over. I imagined being Daisy but it didn’t really work out. So I do this thing where I read books and imagine myself to be starring in the movie adaptation. There! I just revealed it. Anyhow, it was quite nice being Nick in the movie- considering in my version I sported a really sick beard. The point is anyway about how amazing it is that you can just imagine yourself to be someone else in a far distant place while huddled in a corner clutching a book. It’s something talked about over and over again. I bet you even wrote essays in school about Reading Habits and how technology is totally destroying it. I have had a phases where I tried to act like certain characters with a desperate hope that if I did my life would turn out to be half as awesome us them. This is one of the cases when scenario A comes into play.
But there have been times when they have inspired me, motivated me and comforted me. Books have been my constant companion- Spoken like a true nerd! I have been reading since I could remember. I used to have a stack of books hidden in the bathroom so I could read whenever I went in. I had books under my pillow. I believed that helped me dream and I did have some really crazy dreams back them as opposed to the freaky ones I have these days which involve my brutal death! I, like every book lover, hid books within the pages of my notebook and read when I was supposed to be studying for an exam the next day. I smile to myself sometimes thinking about the happy parts in some books. Sometimes when I want to cry and it’s just stuck somewhere I think about the sad stories and it becomes easier for me. Wow! Now I feel vulnerable, exposed and naked.
This entry doesn’t really make much sense even to me but hang in there. You will understand my twisted brain with time. So, Stay tuned cause I WILL update more as long as soon as I stop thinking about writing and finally better ideas come to my head other than, well whatever this was.
This is me, quirky as ever!
Adios Amigos 😀